Freedom Within Relationship

So there I was sitting on my cloud couch relaxing to one of my favorite comedy shows. I noticed how funny everything was. I remember the pleasant thoughts and silent laughter going on inside my head. All of the sudden my girlfriend walks in to take care of some business that had nothing to do with me. The next zinger was spoken by my favorite character. I catch myself belly laughing audibly. I started to feel unauthentic as I recognized this was the first time I had laughed out loud. Was I performing? Did I want her to be impressed by my impeccable taste in television shows? I hadn’t been laughing out loud before. Did I even think the show was funny at all before her arrival? What was going on here?

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This moment made me think about how much we are “performing” for those we know are around us. Many of our actions are based on catering to the expectations of those we think are paying attention to us. I began to examine how this affects relationship dynamics. When we think we are alone we have feelings and we ascribe thoughts to those feelings. We tend to internalize the thoughts because we feel that no one else can perceive them and so they are not affected. When we are conscious of another sentient being entering into our space we tend to expand our sense of self. We cater our feelings and expressions to the other being.

This tends to be a lot of work. In addition to monitoring how we feel in the presence to outside stimuli, we also take on the added responsibility of predetermining how someone else is going to respond to our environment. Then we try to cater our responses and expressions to an action that will evoke the most amount of praise. This is very hard work. Also even the most intuitive of us will make errors in judgement of how the other is responding. We end up taking on the task of having to nurture several vibrations other than ours with over extrapolated information.

We will always tend to push this energy away because it pushes us to act in a way that is not who we truly are. Being unauthentic is much more work than being your unique self. We can tell we are in this kind of relationship by monitoring our vibration just before and just after the time when someone else enters your conscious vicinity. If you are along and someone enters your awareness and you feel your energy drop, you can be sure your body is lamenting the fact that you are about to have to force yourself to be unauthentic. Your body feels drained as it musters up the precious energy needed to play multiple characters.

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Do you ever have the feeling of nervousness when you sense your SO approach as you are doing something you love? You all of the sudden think you have to hide or alter your behavior in some way. It is not a comfortable feeling. You think you have to change yourself in order to receive praise or acceptance from your partner. Your body experiences a sense of loss as you are abandoning your authentic self in favor of the over-entangled version of yourself you are acting out. This is a very traumatic process as you separate in thought, action, and feeling from your true self and the real reason you came down to this plane.

We all experience this to some degree and the reason we do it is fear. We fear we will no longer be accepted or loved by our partner if we are to take off the mask and be our authentic self. We are not trusting the law of attraction to bring into our lives someone who is more of a match to our real self. We doubt our abilities to attract the perfect things into our lives. And so we bite down and put on the song and dance so that we can hang on to our attachments for dear life.

The amazing truth is the more we are our authentic selves, the more we will attract the people and things into our lives that we love. Being true to ourselves is easier and more fun. It also has the added benefit of weeding out the people from your life who are just there for the act. They are weighing you down any way. Having the self love and trust to know that you are all you need is beneficial in many ways. You will recognize that you are all that you need in the first place. You will free yourself from the stress of always having to “know” what everyone else is thinking and what they will judge you for. When you do make room for more of your authentic self, you will be clearing the path and attracting into your life the people who will support and love you for just being you. They will help you shed the weight of feeling like you cannot be authentic. And being authentic makes you feel like you can fly!

Love, light, and peace profound!


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