One of the most common afflictions that plagues spiritual people is loneliness.
The spiritual journey is a personal one. Our individual process is one that is specific to us. We are looking for that connection. We want to open our heart chakra and plug into the connective web. This is the web that connects all living beings. It can be hard to relate to one another as we move forward in our unique spiritual process. We address issues that are not generally recognized by the world. It is difficult to find people who are close enough to us in their journey to connect with us. So loneliness prevails often in the lives of spiritual seekers.
To curb this feeling of loneliness many of us attempt to share our lives with someone.
As spiritual people, sharing our love and gifts with others is important. We are so full of love and compassion that we ache to help others that we see struggling. It is our first impulse to reach out and help other people. We realize that we want to be loving beings and so we strive to help those that we see. We are give more and more of ourselves.
The most important relationship is the one we have with ourselves.
We are here to learn unconditional and complete love. The prime reason we are here is self-love. This is a concept that is widely misunderstood. Others teach us that caring for ourselves is a selfish act and so we judge it to be bad. Actually the best thing we can do for anyone else is to take care of ourselves first. We want to give from our overflow. When we fill ourselves up first we can give from a place of fulfillment. If we seek to love others before we love ourselves we are giving from a place of some level of emptiness. So we see that it is a selfish act to attempt to love others without loving ourselves first. I had a client ask me if it was possible to have unconditional love for someone else if we do not love ourselves. Why would someone even ask that question? Why would you not want to love yourself? From what place does the love come if it is coming from a body that is not loved? You can only love another as deep as the love you have for yourself.
We attract the love of another when we first show love for ourselves.
When we have self-love we can watch as more love appears in our life. The law of attraction says that we create what we are. What we think, act, and feel, we bring into our lives. So if we show perfect love for ourselves, we will attract into our lives people who love us. If we have lack of love, we will attract people that have minimal love for themselves.
If we believe that we are not lovable people will show up to prove to us right.
When we have a belief system, the universe will always bring us evidence to back up that belief. We will attract people who will put us down. Our relationships will reflect this lack of love that we have for ourselves. The more we try to love them we will be giving out more of the energy that we need to be using to love ourselves. The more love that pours out of us the less love we will have for ourselves and the less pure that love is that we give out. Our energy will drain and more and more evidence of us being unlovable will show up.
We need to realize that how we treat ourselves is how we are telling the universe to treat us.
Staying in these toxic relationships sends a message to the universe. The best way to attract a loving uplifting relationship is to care for and love ourselves. If you want particular qualities in a future partner, you must master them yourself. If we attempt to love someone when we do not love ourselves it is only possible to have a lover who does not love us. This will eventually become a perpetrator/victim relationship. You will end up being resentful to one another and you will each play both roles of perpetrator and victim. You may feel confused why they are treating you a certain way. But we have to understand that they have no choice but to treat us this way. You do not contain the matching piece for the unconditional love that you desire. They can only love you as you love yourself. Even if they were to say and do all the right things for a loving relationship you will not be able to receive it.
We accept only the love we deserve.
For instance, if your partner says “I love you.” and you do not believe you are lovable, you will wonder what their motives are. Even if they are speaking from a genuine place. We must have 100% self-love and trust in place so that we are able to recognize and accept love from others. We need to become great receivers. It is not a selfish thing and in fact it is the best thing we can do for ourselves, our lovers, and our environment.
Many of us look outside of ourselves to get that feeling of completeness.
From relying on other spiritual teachers to drugs, or any addiction, we are looking in the wrong place. Several of us are addicted to love. We do not feel very good about ourselves so we look to someone else to love us instead. We are the ones who can love us the best. No one else can do it for you. In this case two halves do not make a whole. We do not want to look for someone else to complete us. If we are only partially full then we will attract others who are not full. Instead of completing each other we end up reinforcing the emptiness in one another.
What we instead want to do is be ok and completely full by ourselves.
We have fun with ourselves and realize how amazing our creator energy is. We do not want to be in the energy of needing someone else. The energy of neediness is the energy of lack. We want to live our lives in complete abundance and joy. We do not need to go outside of ourselves for anything. Once we get the self-love down then we will attract others who are complete as well. When the two complete parts get together you will be able to uplift one another in your completeness. Two wholes make an uplifted whole.
When two whole beings get together their happiness is independent of one another.
This means that you do not have to sacrifice any happiness based on what the other is doing. If your partner were to go and find love and happiness with someone else your happiness would not suffer. You are not happy because this person loves you and only you. You are happy because you make yourself happy. Why would it make any difference to the happiness of a whole being what someone else does to find happiness? You are not worried that the other person is finding happiness with someone else. It is not about your ability to provide them that same happiness. You are not in comparative mode at all. Their happiness has nothing to do with you and your happiness has nothing to do with what they are doing. You love yourself unconditionally and thus love them 100% without condition. If they do something that makes them happy you are happy. Even if their happiness does not involve you at all. You do not need them to only receive love from and give love to you. In fact you want that person to be as happy as possible whatever measures they need to take. You can sit firm in the confidence that you are more than enough no matter what. When you are apart you will have a sense of completeness and joy and fulfillment. That way when you get together you will only be that much more uplifted and full.
Listen to the way you speak to yourself.
To have the best external relationship, have an amazing relationship with yourself. Fall in love with you! After all you are the crowning achievement of the universe. Your body is the most coveted entity in the universe. We have begun to tap into the potential and beauty of our bodies. The more love we send ourselves the more love worthy we will become.
Love, light, and peace profound! Thank you. Namaste. – DMike